You are programmed by 3 Core Stories:
1 – The Story of Fear
2 – The Story of Time
3 – The Story of Identity
Stories create reality for us and what we believe. They also create limits for us and hold us back. In this post I am going to show you your limiting core stories and how to completely rewrite them in order to heal your relationships, business, and personality.
Let’s do this!
Identity, as a story, can be completely rewritten. Let that sink in…
If we ever want to REALLY be free, we need new stories. Stories of safety, abundance, and worth.
Let’s start from the beginning…
There is a first time where the universe becomes completely unsafe…. (i.e. mom is busy and can’t pick up the crying baby). This may have been your first “hurt”.
Your first hurt led to a meaning… (i.e. I don’t deserve my mother’s love, after all, she is the authority, so she must know the truth, and the truth is that I am unworthy).
Then we grow up looking for examples of that “truth” because it helps us make meaning of the world. It makes us feel comfortable because it gives an explanation for why things are happening.
We start to see, “NOT WORTHY” and “NOT ENOUGH” everywhere:
-Not enough time
-Not enough money
-Not pretty enough
-Not funny enough
-My car, house, husband, etc is not enough
That “truth” makes us feel safe, it’s how the world makes sense to us…and it’s the very reason you may self-sabotage yourself over and over again.
Self-sabotage, which you are most likely familiar with, looks something like this: Make a goal, get close to accomplishing that goal, subconsciously find a reason why you can’t accomplish that goal, and quit, then months later make an even bigger goal, get close to accomplishing it, and again, subconsciously setting yourself up to fail.
Do you recognize a pattern with this yet? Do you recognize any of your fallen dreams as a result of self-sabotage?
1 – Let’s talk about the Story of FEAR first –
Fear of failure is a fear of REJECTION. This instinct lives on from thousands of generations ago when rejection in tribal times meant DEATH. So, no wonder we are terrified of it!
We don’t take risks, try new things, talk to strangers, ask for promotions because we fear being rejected!
You may recognize fear of failure in yourself, but what about fear of SUCCESS?
Sounds crazy right? Who would ever fear that? It’s actually more common than you think, let me explain…
Fear of Success looks something like this:
-I’m already overwhelmed, more sales means more work
-Maybe I won’t be able to deliver
-Loss of freedom and personal time
-I can’t trust this client, it may go bad later
We have these buckets that we think we are supposed to fit into (core story), and if we start overfilling these buckets of what we think we can be, then we Procrastinate and Self-Sabotage. We keep ourselves from ever making more money, finding a partner, or even losing weight.
Where does that come from? Why do we Procrastinate?
Here is a simple equation to help explain this habit:
Self-Worth = Ability = Performance
What this equation says is that my self-worth has everything to do with my ability to perform. So if I can’t be perfect 100% of the time, then I am not worthy enough for love, money, happiness, success, etc.
How terrible, right? But that’s the truth…all of our sub-conscious minds are operating by this equation.
Procrastination is just a way we can delay the outcome of this equation. If we know that failure leads to no self-worth, then we procrastinate so we have an excuse of why we did poorly and therefore, our self-worth doesn’t truly reflect our performance. It keeps us from giving it our all at something. It keeps us from feeling ashamed.
Procrastination is therefore Protection. It is a structure of the mind to protect your self-identity!
There is a lot of Pressure to Perform in our world. But if we can disassociate our self-worth from our Performance, we can recognize our INHERENT self-worth. And inherent self-worth radiates confidence.
What we want the equation to REALLY look like is this:
Inherent Self-Worth = Core Story = Confidence
2 – Now let’s talk about the Story of TIME –
Probably the easiest red flag you can spot with yourself is the excuse of “not enough time.”
There are 2 things going on in the world:
1) The act of Being – present, fully arrived and awake (i.e. a monk meditating on top of a mountain all day)
2) The act of Doing – the science of success (i.e. the CEO and billionaire who is completely unfulfilled and unsatisfied in his life)
**Remember this for later, we will come back to this**
Look, we are all going to end up dead, this is it, it never changes! This is not a dress rehearsal, people! There is no time, it’s always now. If it’s not now, then you will be forever stuck on a cycle of “becoming.” If you think you are “not enough yet”, then you will always “need to become more” in order to be enough.
The story of “NOT THERE YET” creates TIME. Do you see it?
Your story of I am not there yet, stems from “I am not enough.” Well if you are not enough right now and you aren’t there yet, then the NOW is probably not your favorite place to be. Am I right?
But that’s a HUGE problem because there is no PAST and FUTURE, there is only NOW. There is only HERE.
We are trapped in imagination all of the time. Completely lost in time.
But what we fail to realize is that the only place we feel joy is the NOW. Probably why you don’t feel joy in your every day, day-to-day life?
We are so caught up in fear of the past and anxiety of the future that our present mind has atrophied, just as a muscle would.
And it makes sense, because with a Core Story of “not enough,” sitting in the present while meditating is going to be extremely painful. And damn near impossible….
But just like gaining strength back in a muscle, you have to work it every day…starting off light and progressively adding more and more in order to gain your ability to be in the present moment.
What is the power of presence look like in the world of success (i.e. why should you care)?
Because when we master the **BEING and DOING**, we experience complete joy while also making profound changes in the world.
^^^And that’s how you die a fulfilled human being.
3 – Now finally, the Story of Identity –
As humans, we want “ground,” we want to understand reality. We do this by “nominalizing”.
For example, we nominalize heroes. When someone does a heroic act, we believe they are heroes. We label them as such. That is their identity…
But this is most certainly not the case…they are just people who have done a heroic act, not a hero. See the difference?
Think about someone in your life who genuinely thinks they are a loser. They know they are a loser because they have proof… they always lose. And rightly so, if you believe that “loser” is your identity, then you are going to be a permanent loser. Your subconscious looks for “loser” in everything you do in order to verify the comforting, knowing the place of “loser.”
But good news, YOU ARE NOT YOUR IDENTITY. You are consciousness itself. Your identity is not permanent and it is always changing, as it should. It’s either useful or not useful.
Can you wrap your head around that statement?
Give yourself the possibility of what you want to be! You have the power to choose your identity! Your story is PROFOUND. You have the capacity to connect, grow, and contribute to this world! Your story matters, people want to hear it and learn from it!
Now is the time to do some soul searching. Look back at the 3 Core Stories. What patterns do you recognize in yourself that is keeping you from the life you want. Would a simple mindset shift combat these limiting beliefs?
I bet so…
As a summary, here is a list of the 3 Core Identities that will heal all aspects of your life:
1) I am enough
2) The world is safe and abundant
3) The time is now, be present, be grateful
Shift your mindset and your entire life will become different! Message me with thoughts and questions.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
#robscott #identityshift #masteryourmind #mindfullness